Now I can not speak
I lost for words
Speechless and reduntant
Cause
'I love you'
Is not enough
I lost for words
.

.
Kutipan lagu 'Reduntant' dari Green Day
Lagu jaman esempe
Entah mengapa terngiang saat ni
Setelah bergelas minuman beralkohol
Tapi malah bikin waras
Karena kata itu tak akan cukup
Aksi pun susah dipercaya

'I said it too much
That I abuse those 3 words'

Salah satu kutipan lain
Dan tetap tak akan cukup
Dibahas
Diulas
Bahkan dibuktikan

'Love is a verb
A continuous one'

Salah satu kutipan lain
Dan spertinya hidup berputar akan substansi ini saja
'Cinta'
Pada apa pun jua

"Sadarlah!"
Pekik suara itu dari belakang kepala..
Menggaung dan perlahan sirna..
Menengok dan mencari...
Dari mana suara itu?
Melihat ke sekeliling...
Menatap teman...
Mengira mereka berteriak...
Namun mereka sunyi...
Tertawa dengan tingkah masing-masing...

"Haleluya!'
Suara itu menggema lagi...
Timbul...
Lalu tenggelam..
Terputus...
Mulai acuh...
Karena sudah lama kata teriakan itu sirna dari kepala..
Tak pernah terucap...
Karena doa bukan milik ku lagi...

'Bangun!'
Aku tak pernah memejam mata..
Air mata yang menetes bukan karena pilu..
Bukan pula iba..
Bukan pula sesal dalam dada..
Menetes begitu saja...
Entah mengapa semua terasa berbeda...
Seluruh indra lebih peka...
Terlewat...
Hingga semua terasa lambat...
Seperti semua kejadian beralasan...
Dingin nya kaki..
Kebasnya tangan...
Asinnya darah...
Nikmat yang ingin selalu terulang...

'Cinta!'
Dan kau mulai bertanya..
Semua momen, kenangan dan rasa..
Benarkah itu cinta..
Bukan emosi yang berulang..
Dan tersimpul dalam rasa..
Yang kau namakan itu cinta..

'Cukup!'
Itu yang ingin ku teriakkan..
Tanpa tahu alasan..
Seluruh kerja syaraf terasa nyata..
Berulang..
Lambat..
Tapi tak pernah..
Cukup..

Dan seluruh yang kau rasakan bukan ilusi..
Tanpa sadar..
Imajinasi..
Tapi bukan seperti yang kau sadari selama ini..
Mencari..
Percaya..
Dan kau ingin ini terjadi lagi..
Lagi..
Berulang..
Semu..
Dan jemu..

"Love me...
Love me not...
Love me now...
Love me never...
Love me while...
Love me forever...
.
.
.
Since you know...
I am while...
You are forever...
You are now...
I am over...
So i will while...
You won't never...
.
.
Holding hands...
Hugging waist...
Kisses and pecks...
Gaze and stares...
Touches and carress...
.
.
We don't mind Us lieing..
Living in illusions..
Such a love fool. .
I don't want the world..
I want you..

Insanity live life... Sanity kills creativity...
.
.
Crazy is the new normal...
Be insane...
So you respect those who are sane...
And love those who are insane...
Insanity keeps vanity away...
.
.
.
Now you give pain...
That keep my insanity away...
Pain is what make me sane...
While you say that i am insane..
Who always chasing for pain...
.
.
Pain loves me...
It drag me away to sober...
While your love is my drugs...
Make me high...
Loving the sadness...
Being cynic...
Pain for sane...
.
.
Hurt me...
The more it hurts...
More sane i become...
Love me...
For want to be insane...
With you...
Forever insane...
Living this sane cynical life...
.
.

Slices

Hence it started...
Days without her...
No chit chat...
All he wants now is to keep this the way it is...
But how?
.
.
She is torn..
Want him but chase him away...
She once said that she need him...
And he knows that she is torn...
The cycles continues...
He just have to adapt to it...
.
.
Now...
For now...
He just going to count the days...
With or without her...
With those slices on arms...
.
.

She love you...
She love you not...
He cut his wrist...
He love the pain...
He enjoy it when she bite him...
What he did not expect is her question...
A nightmare in the broad day light…
She already knows the answer…
She has bored for his love...
But...
He didn't need her to love him...
Cause he will always love her...
Fact and truth are fucked...
But this fortress of lie will soon shattered...
She afraid that she will fall for him...
But he didn't care of it…
He sucks with relationship...
Thats why...
But...
She was once told him that she loves him...
And she convince him that she really mean it...
He loves her...
And he really mean it...
Now...
He cut his wrist...
To feel the pain…
Thats what make him sane...